I have been a picky eater and I didn't really learn how to eat until I was in my 20s. In fact at 30, I am still learning to try new foods. When I see an unfamiliar food, or a food I think I don't like, my mouth gets all clenched up, my throat starts to close. I literally fear the food. I am learning to control this. Its basically a mind game.
As a child my eating habits were always the topic of discussion at large family get togethers. My grandmother wondered how I survived on so little food. My brothers teased me. It was never something anyone forgot about. And it got old really fast.
As I've watched my son pick up some of my habits and tendencies (which by the way, were passed onto me from my father), I've struggled. Knowing what he is going through emotionally - a literal fear of food, left me helpless to provide him with the encouragement he needed to expand his VERY limited pallet. When I say limited, basically he would eat fruit, cheese, bread, peanut butter and snack food. No meat, no veggies.
We had several failed attempts at getting him to eat. And the older he got the harder he pushed against it. He would cry and scream, beg and plead, say his stomach hurt, ask to go to bed. He just did not want to eat his dinner. For a long time I just made him his own food but I knew that I couldn't do that forever. I didn't want him to grow up like I did in that way. I really did want to teach him how to eat healthy and properly. And when I said properly I mean with manners that showed gratitude for the food put in front of him whether he liked the taste or not.
Finally, we were pushed by loving friends to tackle the food issue. Not only was meal time such a headache in our house, but J was watching L and learning all his techniques and figuring out what he could try to get away with.
We came to the realization that a big part of the food battle was that L was fighting for control. He (like all of us sinners) desperately wants to control everything around him. We are pretty strict parents and for the most part he is a very good kid. But this was one area that he found he could win. And he did win for almost 3 years. But as he grew more conscious of his ability to win in this area he decided to test it in other areas. He got a little power hungry.
He began to tell me what to do and when to do it. In little ways though so I really didn't notice. He would tell me what he wanted to eat. That he didn't want those PJs. That he would do what I asked in a little while. They all seemed like innocent things but it kept growing. He became more selfish, less obedient, more bossy, and just not very fun to be around.
So we beefed up the discipline and then put on our boxing gloves and fought the food battle with him. See my next post for Round 1 :)
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