Discipline

Hebrews 12:1-12

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."[a]
7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

THE SPANK...

We are all fleshly creatures and it is easily seen in my son that our sinful nature rears its ugly head at a very young age. Every morning he asks for his gummy vitamin. Often Daddy gets up with him and gives it to him. When Luke and I are in the kitchen later in the morning and Daddy has gone to work, Luke asks for his gummy again. He knows he already got one, he knows he only gets one a day but he still asks. Is it a sin to ask? No, but it shows his fleshly selfish desire ruling in his life.

Now, I don't spank for this particular behavior. I spank for direct disobedience and it is always done in a controlled manner - the same way every time - taking Luke to the discipline spot, giving him the spank, explaining why he was spanked and asking for an apology, extending forgiveness, reconciling via hug.

I don't believe in smacking my kid around and I do my best to never discipline out of anger.

We spent much of the time between 10 and 14 months training Luke with spanks. Now an actual spank is a rare occurrence and we are complimented endlessly on how well behaved he is for a 2 year old. He is not afraid of us, and he doesnt cower when he is disobedient. He has just been trained to listen and obey just like God trains and disciplines us see verses 5-7 above.

I believe that many old testament verses state young children are best disciplined through physical means:
Proverbs 13:24
He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Proverbs 23:13
Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.

Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

That does not mean time outs or other approaches don't work. But I believe discipline must begin when disobedience begins and the best way for a child to understand and internalize the discipline at that young of an age is through a spank. I believe a 9, 15, 18 month old child can be disobedient. "Children obey your parents." It is our responsibility to teach our children how to obey. I believe a spank does that.

As parents we have a model to follow when it comes to raising our children. That model is God's relationship with us. I know I have received earthly punishments/consequences for many of my sins - God allows those punishments/consequences, I think that is what the Hebrews passage is referring to. Young children don't have an understanding of earthly consequences not to mention heavenly ones and the best way to get through to them is via a spank. This is in order to protect them from experiencing those negative consequences/punishment later in life.

Jesus said "be perfect as my heavenly father is perfect". It is my responsibility to train my child to strive for what Jesus expects from us. We are also to make every effort to be found spotless and blameless on the day of Christ's coming (2 Pet chap 3). I am training my child to be spotless and blameless and feel as said for his age a spank is the best way to do that.

Spanking is not the only way to discipline a child. And when my child is at an age where taking away privileges or doing time out will make sense to him, I will probably use those methods as well. But for the very young, I feel a spank is the best form of discipline that God has given us.